


Camp Faerun Is A Big Mess

by ShadowAndPurgatory



Series: Camp AU [1]
Category: The Adventure Zone (Podcast)
Genre: AU, Amnesty, Barry pines for lup, Camp AU, Comedy, Everyone is there, Mutual Pining, Romance, Shipping, Summer Camp AU, a lot of goofs, balance, cross universe, goofs, i thought of this in the tfw discord at like three in the morning, just super self indulgent
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-07-01
Updated: 2019-12-05
Packaged: 2020-05-31 15:25:16
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 6
Words: 7,252
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19428757
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ShadowAndPurgatory/pseuds/ShadowAndPurgatory
Summary: Camp Faerun isn't a bad camp, per se, but things do tend to go wild on a regular basis. "Wild" doesn't mean that the campers sneak out of the unit to steal ice cream from the dining hall (they do that, but that's not wild. That's pretty standard). "Wild" means that Brian defects to the snotty brat camp across the lake. "Wild" means that Lup and Aubrey become friends and nearly burn down half the forest. "Wild" also means that there's an oil baron trying to buy out the camp, and he's gauging the best way to do that by trying to shut it down via sabatoge, but also taking the weird plantfucking nature specialist on dates? For some reason?If you're a new camper here for a relaxing summer, then I can almost guarantee that, despite Duck Newton and Davenport's best efforts, Taako, Lup, Magnus, and Aubrey will get you across the lake in the fastest way possible (they're gonna fire you out of a catapult). So, if you just accept your fate, don't buy the dehydrated water from the camp store, and avoid getting knifed by Duck's weirdo psychopath cousin, then you'll (probably) survive the summer!





	1. Nature with Merle is a Bust

**Author's Note:**

> This was a dumb idea, but I fleshed it out and now I love it. I hope you guys do too, because I had a lot of fun making it.

Duck Newton sat up, his eyes wide. “Something terrible’s gonna happen,” he whispered. He looked out the window of the break lodge, but couldn’t see any of the campers. Ominous. He couldn’t hear Barry screaming, because tag with Magnus is like being chased by a bloodhound. In fact, there was a lack of screaming in general. Doubly ominous. 

He looked at Davenport, the gnome who was in charge of the overall kid-watching. He was sound asleep, which was unsurprising considering that there were twelve kids that he was responsible for basically 24/7. 

Duck stood, yawning. What are the campers _supposed_ to be doing right now? _Of course,_ he thought with a wry smile, _what they’re_ supposed _to be doing has little to do with what they’re actually up to._ The troubled nature counselor walked over to the schedule that Lucretia had printed out for the staff lodge. He scanned the paper until he found today’s date. 

“Nature With Merle,” Duck read aloud. “ _Dammit.”_

Nature with Merle was not at all like Nature with Duck Newton. When Duck Newton did nature stuff, he taught the campers things like survival skills, using trees to figure out if it’s going to rain, and forest safety. 

Merle had a _different_ approach to nature than the forest ranger did. He was more relaxed in all his activities than Duck. Of course, when referring to Merle’s teaching style, _relaxed_ meant that several hours after the end of an activity, someone found Magnus in a cave, wrestling with a grizzly bear. _Relaxed_ meant that Aubrey and Lup could walk off and start some terrible project that involved fire outside of a designated pit. _Relaxed_ meant that Brian found a huge fuck-you spider, adopted it, christened it Spider Bryan, and then disappeared into the forest that surrounded Camp Faerun.

After that particular incident, Duck had confronted Merle about his “relaxed” counselor style.

“Listen,” Duck had said. “I wasn’t real excited about Magnus wrestling that bear, and I was even less a fan of Aubrey and Lup starting’ a fire, but now Brian fuckin’ _left_ the camp, which is a whole other issue. You fucking _lost a camper._ ”

Merle had looked bored. “Nah.”

“What?”

“I didn’t lose Brian.”

“Well then what the _fuck_ do you call what happened to Brian?”

“I didn’t lose him, per say. He ran away with his big spider friend, and I just happened to be around at the time. He’s not a cell phone that I put down, and can no longer recall the location of.” 

“But he went _missing!_ He is _no longer at the camp!_ And we have NO FUCKING CLUE WHERE HE IS!” Duck Newton had yelled, massaging his temples in exasperation. 

The conversation had ended there, but a week later Jake Coolice told Mama that Isaac called to say that Brian was across the lake at Camp Villa. 

Despite the outcome of Brian not being dead somewhere in the woods, when Duck Newton saw that Nature with Merle was the scheduled activity, it basically confirmed his suspicions; something terrible was about to happen. 

Duck Newton was torn. On the one hand, he wanted to prevent whatever horrible crisis that was undoubtedly about to unfold. On the other hand, he was on break, and there were plenty of other staff members that could, in theory, deal with this. They won’t, but he could pretend, right?

After a brief internal struggle, Duck’s desire to prevent a forest fire outweighed his desire to vegetate inside the staff lodge, so he put on his hat, grabbed a CB, and left, being careful not to slam the door so as not to wake Davenport up. 

Once outside, he turned the CB to channel 1, the channel that all staff were supposed to be tuned in to. “Break-01 to nature,” he said into the CB. He waited for 30 seconds of no response before trying again. “Break-01 to nature.” 

After a few more seconds, he heard a crackle. He could hear nothing but static crackling for a few moments on the other end before actual words came through. 

“ _Hi, welcome to Chili’s_ ,” came Taako’s voice before he dissolved into hysterical laughter. 

Duck snorted in spite of himself. He turned his CB back on. “Break-01 to nature,” he repeated. 

“ _This is nature, go ahead_ ,” Lucretia said through the CB. 

“Hey, this is Duck. What’s your location?”

“ _We just finished our hike to Goldcliff Falls, and are currently resting at the top._ ”

“Is Merle with you at the moment?” Duck hopped into the Green Machine, and began driving to Goldcliff Falls. There was a moment’s silence, and Duck repeated his question. 

“ _Yeah, sorry about that, Merle’s… uh... indisposed at the moment._ ”

Duck’s brows furrowed. “What does that mean?”

“ _It means that Merle is being a dirty weirdo_!” Lup said into the CB.

“ _Yeah!”_ Aubrey put in. “ _He’s fucking a plant!”_

“What?” Duck asked, bewildered. “Also language,” he reprimanded without thinking. He heard a chorus of cursing on the other end of the CB and sighed defeatedly. 

“ _I’m sorry, they wrestled the CB away from me, but they were actually telling the truth,”_ Lucretia said. “ _We have moved away from Merle, because he is being inappropriate with the honeysuckle.”_

Duck massaged one of his temples with his free hand. “Alright, I-” He sighed. “I guess, just, stay where you are, I’m gonna meet you there. Duck Newton out.”

“ _Okay, will do. Nature out._ ”

Duck took a deep breath. As he drove down the road, he stared hard at the tree line. _Where is it?_ He wondered. As he searched, a small dark green flag tied to a bush with “R&R” written in silver sharpie marker caught his eye. _There it is._

He stopped the Green Machine, and turned the camp car towards the flag. He drove into the forest, getting a mouthful of leaves in the process. “Gross,” he muttered, spitting out a twig. 

Seconds later, the ground became slightly less bumpy, and the camp car broke through to the illegal race track. Another counselor, Sloane had built it, and Lieutenant Hurley had secretly helped her cut through the trees. 

Duck didn’t like it, but he had turned a blind eye to it. Luckily for him, the track came out right at Goldcliff Falls, so unsafe as the race track might be, it was convenient at the moment. 

He got another mouthful of leaves, but then he was out of the woods, zooming towards the edge of the cliff. Duck slammed on the brakes, and the camp car screeched to a halt. He hopped out and walked over to the group of campers standing nearby. 

Lucretia looked up. "Hello, Duck," she said. "Thanks for coming here to help me out." Lucretia paused. "Hold on, aren't you on Me Time right now?" 

Duck nodded. "Yeah I am, but you aren't legally allowed to be left alone with campers, so I figured that I should pick up the kids."

Lup looked at Duck. "It's _also_ illegal for you to be spending time with campers while you're on Me Time because of working laws and shit, but go off I guess." 

Duck sighed while simultaneously stifling a snort. "Listen. I'd rather get in trouble with Mama and Council because I was making sure that an adult was present than have the camp dealing with a lawsuit for _neglect._ " 

Magnus tapped Duck's head and Duck looked up at him. "So, what're we gonna do next?" Magnus asked.

Aubrey raised a hand. "Free time. I vote we have free time instead of the Nature activities."

Lup held up a hand for a fist bump. "I second that plan. Free time sounds cool."

"I hate nature after watching Merle dirty talk the plant; I would rather not have _anything_ to do with it," Taako put in.

"We could chase down mountain lions, then bring them back to camp and teach them to be nice, like pets or something. That'd be fun."

"Magnus, there aren’t any mountain lions near Camp Faerun-" Barry began.

"Oh." His head drooped. 

"-But we do have coyotes in the area."

"Hell yeah! Thanks Barold. Gotta go, the coyotes are waiting!" 

Before Duck could stop him, Magnus had run off into the woods. Duck held up a hand hopelessly before turning to look at Barry accusingly.

Barry shrugged. "I can get the rest of them out of your hair too, if you'd prefer that."

Duck shut his eyes, counted to ten, and reopened them. "Hey Barry, do you know what time it is?" Duck asked hopefully.

"10:30," Barry said, glancing at his watch. "Why do you ask?"

Duck put his head in his hands despairingly. "Today’s gonna be a long day, isn’t it?"

Barry nodded. “Probably.”


	2. Julia Brings Back News Of Armageddon

Merle wasn’t listening to Duck’s lecture. He couldn’t give a flying fuck about how innapropriate he was, and  _ how could he act like that in front of the campers _ . That was boring. Besides, he was 90% certain that he’d already heard whatever spiel the forest ranger was giving him a half dozen different ways. So instead, Merle was looking through the mail. 

Not necessarily  _ his _ mail, mind you, but looking through it nonetheless. 

For the most part, it was letters to the campers, or bills. There were two letters to Duck, something for Sloane, and four letters to Mama. That’s when he found something more interesting. 

An envelope with spidery handwriting that was addressed  _ “ _ _ To Merle Highchurch, Camp Faerun. _ _ ”  _ The return address had no name on it.

Who would be writing to Merle? He saw his kids often enough that there was no reason to write, and they usually just messaged him on Mavis’ stone of farspeech. Hecuba  _ never  _ got in contact, so that ruled her out.

“-And now Magnus is off in some coyote-” Duck stopped. “Merle, are you even listening to me?”

“Nah.”

Duck spluttered in annoyance. “Wha-”

Merle cut him off with a wave of his hand. “Shut it, I got a weird letter.”

Immediately, everyone in the counselor cabin perked up.

“Weird?” Davenport asked. “Do you mean suspicious, or prank-like?”

“There’s no return address.”

Minerva grabbed Duck’s shoulders from behind. “That sounds both suspicious  _ AND _ prank adjacent! Don’t you agree, Duck Newton?”

“Jesus  _ Christ  _ Minerva,” Duck said. “You have  _ got _ to stop doing that.”

“My apologies, Duck Newton, but constant vigilance must be learned if you are to learn the warrior way!”

“I most certainly am  _ not  _ gonna learn the warrior way, Minerva. But I agree that it sounds prank-ish and creepy as hell.”

Sloane snatched the letter from Merle’s hands. “Lemme see!” she said, holding the letter where Merle couldn’t reach. 

Of course, Sloane didn’t have to try very hard to accomplish this, since Merle was only three feet tall.

“Let’s fucking crack this thing wide open, huh?” she suggested, grinning down at Merle. She cleared her throat. “‘Dear Merle Highchurch,’” she read. “‘Hello. I hope this letter finds you well. I was hoping you’d meet me for dinner on Sunday evening at six o’clock to-’” Sloane stopped. “Hold on, isn’t Sunday your night off?” 

Merle nodded. 

“Well how the fuck does this creep who still writes LETTERS and doesn’t leave a return address know when you have your night off?”

Davenport dragged his step ladder over to look at the letter. “‘At six o’clock to just talk. I’d love to learn about your camp, and I'm hoping you can answer some questions. Sincerely, John Acras.’”

Ned, who was supposed to be fixing the camp website, but wasn’t, elbowed Merle in the ribs. “So, you’ve got a date with the archaic boyfriend you’ve  _ never  _ told us about?”

“Yeah Merle, what gives? I thought we were friends!” Sloane teased, still holding the letter out of his reach. “You even let me borrow that dope belt.”

“For the last time, you stole that belt; I did not  _ give _ it to you!” Merle groused. “And I’ve never even  _ heard  _ of this John Acras before, sure as hell don’t know why he’s asking me to have dinner with him.” He clambered onto Davenport’s stepladder and managed to snatch his letter back from Sloane. 

“So, are you going to go?” Duck asked Merle. 

Merle nodded with a bit of a shrug.

“Merle’s got a date!” Sloane announced. “The apocalypse  _ has begun! _ ” She waved her hands dramatically.

****

Although it is night, and all campers should be asleep, one cabin is lit from within by candles. Duck Newton wouldn’t approve. Two children kneel, awaiting their orders from the leaders of tonight’s gathering.

“It is time,” Taako said solemnly.

“Now, Magnus Burnsides and Julia Waxmen, prove that you’re worth more to us here than the entertainment we’d get watching you go flying across the lake,” Lup said. She grinned at her brother before staring down from the top bunk. 

“What have you brought the gathered campers in terms of supplies or intel?” Taako asked, eyes narrowed. 

The other campers, seated either on the other beds or the floor, leaned in eagerly.

“Armageddon is upon us.” Julia said standing up. There was an appropriate amount of gasping around the room. “Merle has a date on Sunday.”  
Aubrey nearly fell off of her bed. “Merle has a _what?”_

“A date.”

“Holy shit it really is the end of the fucking world,” Dani whispered. 

Murmurs ran through the room as Taako and Lup whispered to each other.

“Julia Waxmen has once again proved her worth to us, and doesn’t get catapulted across the lake,” Lup announced.

“Maggie?” Taako asked. “What’d you bring?”  
Magnus stoop up and held up a bag. “Ice cream!” he announced.

A cheer went through the cabin. 

“And I brought the fruit juice popsicles for Barry, since he’s lactose intolerant.”

Barry smiled. “Thanks, uh, I really appreciate it.”  
Taako held up a hand for silence. “Let the feasting begin,” he announced. 

And they feasted.


	3. Magic, Midnight Excursions, and Mysterious Strangers

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I checked my master document for this fic, and this is my longest chapter so far, so Yay Me, I guess. Anyways, enjoy!

The lake water was still, which would normally have been odd, since there were always either campers or animals moving around in the water. However, it was four in the morning, so no one in their right mind was awake, and those who were awake were being quiet in their cabins. 

There was only one person who was awake at this ungodly hour. Lucretia, the oldest in the CIT program, sat on top of the dome shaped CIT house, staring at the mist as it settled on the lake. (No one had ever seen her sleep, and the CITs debated quietly amongst themselves whether or not she did in fact sleep.) The biggest dome on camp belonged to the CITs, and it was up on a bluff called Dalginback Point. 

Lucretia could see someone moving down on camp, which was odd, unless it was Minerva, prepping for swordplay lessons. She squinted. It wasn’t Minerva. It looked like- 

“Lucas?” 

Now, I mentioned earlier that it’d be odd for anyone in their right mind to be awake at four in the morning. However, Lucas Miller could be considered exempt from this oddity, since he wasn’t in his right mind. 

Maureen Miller’s family had helped design the layout for the camp, and also happened to be Lucas’s mother. She’d sent him to Camp Faerun with the hopes that he’d become a bit better as a person.

This excursion before the sun had fully risen showed that he was still being sneaky, and Maureen probably should have sent him to a better camp on the whole.

Why he was awake and moving around, Lucretia didn’t know. However, what she did know was that whatever he could possibly be doing at four am, it probably wasn’t good. She flipped herself onto her belly and slid down to the ground. 

The CIT went inside and walked over to the couch where Avi had passed out. “Avi,” she whispered. “Avi, wake up.”

He didn’t move. 

Lucretia grabbed a pillow and used it to nudge him.

Avi just mumbled incoherently and rolled over.

“Fine,” Lucretia said with a resigned sigh. “Time to resort to more drastic measures.” She nudged him with the pillow, which did nothing. She pushed him off the couch. “Avi!”

“Whashappeningimawake!” the CIT mumbled quickly as he shook his head to wake himself up. He blinked a few times. Lucretia could see his face’s automatic tendency to smile waging war against his annoyance and confusion at being woken up. In the end, his expression settled on a sleepy half-smile that was somewhere between irritation and his resting grin.

“Hey Lucretia,” Avi said with a yawn. “What time is it?” he asked, squinting at the window. 

“About ten after four. Anyways, there’s something I want you to check up on later. Earlier, I saw-” She stopped when she saw Avi’s dead, uncomprehending eyes, staring up at her blankly. “Avi? Are you listening to me?” 

Avi’s response was a slow blink. “Ten after four,” he repeated. 

Lucretia made a noise that managed to be both a laugh  _ and _ a disappointed sigh. “Yes, Avi. Ten minutes after four AM.”

Avi sighed unhappily. “Alright,” he said. “Is there a fire?”

“No, but-”

“A flood?”

“Well, n-”

“Did someone get bitten by a poisonous snake?”

“It’s ‘ _ venomous _ ,’ but-”

“Then why, in the  _ fuck, _ would you wake me up, at ten after four?” Avi asked. 

“Well, um,” Lucretia said, a little bit nervous. 

“Please, if it can wait, just let me go back to sleep. I was up all night working on my CIT book; I’m so tired.” He’d gone from irritated to pleading in the span of a few seconds. Lucretia could see the dark circles under his eyes. “If I can do it in a few hours, then I’ll do it in a few hours.”

Lucretia hesitated, tugging nervously on the bracelet that she’d gotten when she’d first started as a camper at Camp Faerun. She felt bad about waking him up, but Avi was the only CIT that had both a driver’s license as well as permission to drive the camp cars.

“It can wait,” she said. “You get some sleep, and I’ll have all my facts straight by the end of breakfast.”

Avi smiled gratefully. He stood up, and walked into the male sleeping area. 

Lucretia smiled and pulled out the book she’d been reading, and waited for breakfast.

******

“Why isn’t the shredded cheese melting?” Lup asked, staring at her plate of scrambled eggs. 

“Hm?” Davenport asked with a yawn. 

“These eggs are hot, but the shredded cheese isn’t melting. That seems  _ wrong _ , somehow.”

Taako leaned over. “It’s because,” he said in a conspiratorial whisper, “ _ the cheese is fake _ .” 

Aubrey set her tray down across the table from the twins. “Wanna see something cool?” she asked.

“Is it a dog?” Magnus asked. 

“No dogs at camp.” Lucretia walked into the dining hall behind Killian. The CITs moved into single file line as they went into the kitchen.

Magnus drooped. “Right.” 

“Cheer up Maggie,” Aubrey said. “Watch this!” She pulled a card out of a pocket on her sleeve. 

“It’s a card,” Taako pointed out. “What’s so cool about a card?” 

“Behold!” Aubrey flourished her hand dramatically, tapping the card. The flourish was, unfortunately, too big, and she dropped it. As it fell, it vanished without a trace. 

Aubrey smiled triumphantly. “Voila!” 

Magnus’s eyes went wide. “How’d you do that?” he demanded. 

“Magic.”

“But I wanna know how you did the magic.”

“Magnus, I’m not allowed to tell you how I did it. It’s magic.”

Lup grinned. “Yeah Maggie. First rule of the magician's code is to never reveal your secrets.”

Magnus sighed disappointedly. 

“Sorry buddy,” Taako said with a shrug. “Them’s the breaks.” 

Magnus nodded. He looked around. “I’m gonna go talk to Julia,” he said, getting up. He walked over to another table and began to chat with her. 

As soon as he left, Taako and Lup leaned over the table. 

“Flash paper?” Lup whispered.

“Flash paper.”

“But then how’d you ignite it?” Lup asked in a whisper. “‘Cause I didn’t see a match or anything.”

Aubrey removed her glove to reveal a match concealed in the fingertip. “It was still hot when I touched the card. To stop myself from getting burned, I had a damp piece of non flammable cloth between the match and my finger.” Aubrey winked. “Or maybe it was just magic.” She removed the match and put it in her empty cereal carton, covering it up with the lid. 

“Who can say?” Lup agreed with a sage nod.

Sloane was eating breakfast at a table with Minerva, Hollis, and Keith. “So, Minerva,” she said, pouring milk into her Lucky Charms. “You seem...uh...” She trailed off uncomfortably before taking a bite of her cereal.

“What is it, Sloane?” Minerva asked. She was grinning like a kid, and kept glancing around. 

“You seem very excited,” Hollis offered between bites of bacon. 

“It is nothing to worry about, Hollis. Today is going to be a very good day, I think.”

Sloane and the bikers looked at each other dubiously. Duck Newton walked into the dining hall, and Minerva walked over excitedly. 

“Duck Newton!” she exclaimed, tapping him on the shoulder. 

Duck stiffened. “Jesus  _ Christ, _ Minerva.”

“Duck Newton, I have a surprise for you!”

Duck squinted at her. “What does that me-” 

“Oh, uh, hey Duck?” Barry asked. He was looking out the corner of his eyes nervously. 

“Hey Barry. What’s up?”

“Um, there’s a strange man pressing his face into the window,” Barry said. “I just thought I should let you know.”

Duck nodded, trying to hide his concern. “That’s uh, that’s probably just the mailman- wait, fuck, it’s Sunday isn’t it? It’s, erm, it’s my personal...” He looked around for inspiration. On the nearest table was a container of CB batteries. “...battery...finder?” he finished lamely.

Barry raised an eyebrow. “‘Battery finder?’”

Duck sighed. “Yeah, I’ll go check it out. Minerva, do you want to go- Minerva? Why are you making that face?” 

The swordplay instructor was smiling the biggest smile that either of them had ever seen, the Joker being the only exception. “Not to worry, Duck Newton! I will accompany you to uncover the identity of this mysterious stranger.” She looked gleeful.

“Minerva, do you know something about this?” Duck asked suspiciously. 

“Onward!” Minerva turned around to follow Barry.

Duck took a deep breath. “It’s still early,” he muttered. He followed Barry and Minerva to the door, but when Barry was about to leave the building, Duck stopped him. “Barry, I appreciate what you’re trying to do, but you need to stay inside, okay?” 

Barry gave him a thumbs up. “Got it.”

“Duck Newton, I have brought a gift for you!” Minerva said. “I think that you will like it very much.”

“Minerva!” he groaned.

“Wait here!”

Duck sighed. “Minerva!” He walked after her. As he rounded the corner, he stopped in his tracks. It was, in fact, a weird guy. Duck  _ knew  _ this weird guy. 

That creepy grin. The horrifyingly flexible torso. The multiple knives. The slow drawl. “Hello, Duck Newton.”

“ _ Christ. _ Minerva, why is my cousin here? Why would you bring him?”

Minerva frowned. “I thought you would be excited to see him.”

“Minerva, I have  _ never _ spoken fondly about Beacon in my entire  _ life.” _

“So,” Beacon drawled, “how long am I going to be a camper here?”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> My tumblr handle is shadow-and-purgatory, so if you want to talk about stuff, then my inbox is open! Also, I’d like to thank everybody who comment, left kudos, and you who is reading it and done none of those things! I’m having so much fun with this AU, and I’m glad that you guys like it as well!


	4. Conspiracies and Competitive Spirit

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The camper meet Beacon, at which point Duck Newton ruins the twins’ goof. Taako is more aware than his sister when it comes to buddy lines. The staff realize that Lucas is missing. They head to the Gaga pit, and Aubrey, Lup, and Magnus have a very intense race on the way there.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Heyo! It’s come to my attention that it can get difficult to remember who’s who, because there are a lot of characters. I made a list, which will be continually updated as new characters are introduced.
> 
> Camp Faerun Basic Breakdown
> 
> Campers:
> 
> Magnus  
> Taako  
> Lup  
> Barry  
> Julia Waxmen  
> Lucas  
> Aubrey  
> Dani  
> Hollis  
> Keith  
> Pigeon Wilson  
> Beacon
> 
> CITs:
> 
> Lucretia  
> Avi
> 
> Staff:
> 
> Merle  
> Davenport  
> Sloane  
> Mama  
> Barclay  
> Minerva  
> Ned Chicane
> 
> Misc People: 
> 
> Jake Coolice (no one knows whether he’s a staff member or a camper)  
> John Acras

“Who the hell is this?” Lup asked, saying what all the campers were thinking. Standing in between Duck and Davenport was an adult. An adult with knives in various places on his clothes. 

“Lup, language,” Duck corrected with a sigh. “And this is a new camper. His name is Beacon, and he’s also my cousin.” 

“Unfortunately,” Beacon interjected.

Barry raised a tentative hand. “Isn’t he an adult?”

Both counselors sighed. “Yes,” they said in unison. 

“Would you all introduce yourselves to Beacon?” Davenport asked. 

Lup would rather not have Beacon knowing anything about her. She leaned over to Taako. “He looks like an identity thief,” she whispered.

“Totally.”

The campers went down the line, introducing themselves. Taako and Lup were slated to be last. 

“Hail and well met, my dude,” Taako said, waving. “I’m... _Justin_ ,” he said, stifling a laugh. 

Magnus giggled. “Yep,” he agreed. “ _Justin_ is a very good friend. No one’s more reliable or as honest in all of Camp Faerun.” He snickered.

Duck grabbed the bridge of his nose, sighing. “Taako,” he Said tiredly.

Lup smiled. “And I’m… uh...” She paused. “I’m Ellen. Ellen the generous.”

Aubrey tried (and failed) to cover up her laughter with a fit of coughing. Dani patted Aubrey’s back as she giggled.

Taako hooted in laughter, not even attempting to cover it up. 

Duck sighed. “Their actual names are Taako and Lup, respectively,” he said tiredly, gesturing to each of them in turn. Taako kicked the park ranger’s shins. 

“Way to ruin the fun,” he groused. 

Beacon smiled slowly. “Hello, children,” he said. His voice was oily and gross.

Sloane ran up to behind Davenport and pushed him aside. “Go away Duck, don’t you have maintenance to do?” Duck sighed, pinched the bridge of his nose, and walked away. “Okay guys, get in a buddy line; we’re gonna play Gaga!”

The campers rushed to pair up with their friends before whoever they wanted to walk got claimed. Lup also figured that no one wanted to be Beacon’s buddy.

She grabbed Taako’s arm immediately. “Buddies?” 

“Deffo.” Taako nodded decisively. 

Out of the corner of her eye, Lup saw Barry walking to the back of the rapidly forming line. He looked disappointed. “Poor dude,” she whispered to Taako, jerking her head back subtly to gesture at Barry. “Wonder who he wanted to partner up with.”

Taako’s eyebrows went up the tiniest amount. 

“What?” Lup protested. 

“Nothing, nothing at all,” Taako said, shaking his head with a tiny smile. 

Aubrey, Magnus, and Julia all sang the buddy line song as they paired up. 

_“Get in a buddy line, always in a buddy line,_

_Always in a buddy line,_

_Get in the buddy line of life, YEEHAW!”_

The other campers joined in on the earworm of a camp song for the last verses.

_“You will suffer in pain,_

_We will drive you insane,_

_Unless you stay in a buddy line at camp!”_

“Alright!” Sloane shouted once everyone had grouped up. “Count off!”

“ _TWO_!” Aubrey and Dani shouted.

“FOUR!” screamed Magnus and Julia, trying to be louder than the girls in front of them. 

“ _Six_ ,” Keith and Hollis said, only raising their voices a little bit.

Lup took a deep breath. “ _ **EIGHT**_!” She and Taako yelled.

“TEN!” Pigeon Wilson yelled, while Barry just said it at a normal volume. Pigeon pouted slightly. “I reckon we coulda been louder if you’d joined in too,” she said.

“Eleven,” Beacon drawled. Pigeon and Barry glanced back at the last person in their group of three. 

“Wait.” Sloane recounted the campers. “Hold up, where’s Lucas Miller?” she asked. 

Lup realized that she hadn’t seen the weirdo scientist all morning. From the vaguely confused looks that the campers were giving each other, none of them had.

Sloane sighed. “Okay,” she said. “Davenport, C.B. the camp office,” she instructed. Then, she turned to the campers. “Alright guys, let’s go play some Gaga!”

Their buddy quickly dissolved, but the only counselors who really cared whether or not they stayed in a buddy line were Duck Newton, and when he felt particularly grumpy, Davenport.

Barry power-walked to catch up to the twins. “Hey guys,” he said. He smiled awkwardly at Lup, pushing his glasses higher up on his nose. 

_He’s cute,_ Lup thought. The tips of her ears went red. “Hey. What’s up my dude?” 

“The sky?” Barry suggested nervously.

Lup snorted.

Taako looked at Barry and then gave Lup an almost imperceptible eyebrow wiggle. “He’s cool,” he said.

Lup rolled her eyes. “Anyways, where do you think that the Nerdlord extrordinaire is?” 

“Nerdlord? Oh, you mean Lucas.” Barry shrugged. “I haven’t seen him since last night. I noticed that he was gone when we were pairing off. I’m usually his buddy.”

“If you ask me, Nerdlord probably struck out for home,” Taako said. “He’s always whining about how much his misses his mom, and how he doesn’t want to be here.” 

“If that's the case, then he’s probably dead,” Lup reflected. “I doubt that he has the skills to survive in the wilderness.”

Barry looked uneasy. “Yeah, maybe he did run away.”

Lup’s eyes narrowed. “But?” she prompted, sensing a caveat.

“But I think he went away to do something.”

Lup noticed Taako’s ears prick up. “What do you mean, Barold?” 

Barry sighed. “That’s...that’s not what Barry is short for,” he said.

“Whatever you say, Barold,” Taako said loftily. “What’s Nerdlord planning?”

“Well, he told me that he was planning on _signalling_ his mom,” Barry said slowly. 

Lup turned around so she was facing Barry and started walking backwards. “What do you mean?” she asked, interested.

“Well, he said that he was gonna shoot up a non-destructive flare, but he was having trouble figuring out how to make it light up.”

“He would need to use something that not only _reflected_ light, but _magnified_ it too,” Taako said. 

Barry nodded. “Yeah, that was the problem,” he said. His face fell. “Oh _great_ ,” he said unhappily. “We’re _here_.”

Lup grinned. She turned around, racing towards the Gaga pit. Magnus and Aubrey, who were also running towards the hexagonal structure, both had head starts, but Lup wouldn’t let them beat her that easily.

Her grin grew wider as she caught up to Magnus. “I’m going to win!” she crowed. 

“Nope!” Aubrey yelled from in front of them. She stuck her tongue out at Lup and Magnus, grinning madly. 

Lup started sprinting, determined to beat the stage magician. Aubrey noticed that the elf was gaining on her and put the pedal to the metal. Magnus was neck and neck with Lup, and he was speeding up. Lup drove her elbow into his side.

_Must… win… race._

Lup used one final burst of energy to reach the Gaga pit, her hand touching the wooden wall. “I beat you,” she panted, grinning at Magnus.

Magnus shook his head. “Nah,” he said between heavy breaths. “I totally got there first.”

“ _Actually_ ,” Aubrey said, “neither of you chucklefucks got to the Gaga first, because I did.” She looked smug. “Which means that you both have to protect me in Gaga.”

Magnus snorted. “That’s not how this works,” he said with a small shake of his head. 

“It is _so_!” argued Aubrey. She looked at Lup. “Lup, back me up here,” she pleaded. “This is how it worked last time, right?” 

“That was _last time_ ,” said Lup. She raised an eyebrow. “It means nothing _today_.” 

“Wait,” Aubrey said. “Hang on guys, that’s not fair!” 

Lup laughed. “That was a good race,” she said, high fiving Magnus. She held up a hand to Aubrey. After a moment of glaring, Aubrey slapped her hand against the elf’s.

“Yeah.” Aubrey paused. “NOW LET’S PLAY SOME _GAGA_!”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> IMPORTANT:
> 
> Hey, so November is coming up, and with it comes NaNoWriMo, AKA National Novel Writing Month. I will be taking a break from this story to work on my NaNo story. Right now, my PLAN is to write one or two chapters before the month starts, and release them during november so that you guys don’t go over a month between chapter updates. That’s the plan, but stuff(high school, friends, personal disasters) happens, so it may not end up working out that well.
> 
> If you guys have thoughts, ideas, questions, or if you just want to chat, leave a comment! I love talking to you guys and hearing your thoughts on stuff! I make a point of responding to all the comments that I get, and I really appreciate it!


	5. Betrayals in the Ball Pit

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Gaga is in full swing. Taako is betrayed by those closest to him. Magnus and Aubrey form a temporary alliance. Magnus loves his girlfriend.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Camp Faerun Basic Breakdown  
> Campers:
> 
> Magnus  
> Taako  
> Lup  
> Barry  
> Julia Waxmen  
> Lucas(MIA)  
> Aubrey  
> Dani  
> Hollis  
> Keith  
> Pigeon Wilson  
> Beacon
> 
> CITs:
> 
> Lucretia  
> Avi
> 
> Staff:
> 
> Merle  
> Davenport  
> Sloane  
> Mama  
> Barclay  
> Minerva  
> Ned Chicane
> 
> Misc People: 
> 
> Jake Coolice (no one knows whether he’s a staff member or a camper)  
> John Acras

Magnus pressed his back against the wall. His fingers twitched and his eyes darted around. He was watching. Waiting. Any second now. His eyes met Julia’s, and he gave her a small nod. She grinned, giving him a small thumbs up.

The ball landed in the pit, and the campers watched it bounce. On the bounces, they spoke. “Ga. Ga.” 

Then, all hell broke loose. Right off the bat, Magnus rushed into the middle, smacking the ball towards Aubrey, one of his biggest threats. 

Aubrey yelped, jumping to the side. The ball hit the wall, and rolled near Dani. 

_ “Daniwatchout!” _ Aubrey yelled. Dani moved her feet out of the way. She hit the ball against the wall, positioning the ball a bit differently. 

Magnus watched the ball carefully. It didn’t  _ look  _ like she was aiming it towards him, but he could be wrong about that. Dani hit the ball towards Julia with alarming force. It hit Julia in the ankle. 

“Dammit, Dani!” Julia swore, sticking her tongue out at the blonde as she walked out of the pit, joining Barry, Keith, and Pigeon.

Sloane was cool, and didn’t care if they cursed.

“Nice one Dani,” Aubrey congratulated. 

“Thanks,” Dani said, beaming at Aubrey.

Magnus went for the ball at the same time as Sloane. She reached it first and hovered over it. She walked in circles around the Gaga ball, probably to gauge who to aim for.

Magnus leapt backwards in an attempt to get away. He knocked into Taako. Magnus looked back at the elf apologetically.

“Hey man, watch out,” Taako said. “Also I’m gonna go ahead and use you as a human shield.”

Magnus frowned. He kept moving and making sure that he was never backed against a wall. 

Lup sidestepped over to one of the two openings, her eyes never leaving Sloane. Dani and Aubrey stood opposite the Gaga pit from Magnus and Taako, about a foot apart from each other. Beacon began to cross the pit. 

As soon as he moved, Sloane hit the ball. It left the ground a bit and hit his leg. Sloane frowned. “Was that above the knee?” The question was directed to anyone who might have seen it. 

“It most  _ definitely _ was above the knee,” Beacon drawled.

“I think it hit above the knee,” Hollis offered. “But I’m on the opposite side from where Beacon is, sooo…” They shrugged. 

Dani shrugged. “To me, it looked like it hit just below the knee.” 

After Lup and Aubrey both agreed with Dani, Beacon walked out, grumbling under his breath. 

“Okay cool,” Sloane said. 

Lup ran to the ball, hitting it at Sloane, who hung her head and walked out. Lup chased the ball, hitting it to Dani with deadly accuracy. Dani hopped the wall. 

“Dani, that’s against the rules,” Sloane reprimanded. 

“Sorry, sorry,” Dani apologized. 

Aubrey hit the ball against the wall a few times to get it where she wanted it. She hit the ball between her feet towards Magnus. 

He jumped to the side. _ That was a close one, _ he thought. He hit the ball at Hollis, hitting them right in the knee.

“You almost didn’t get me out,” Hollis said good naturedly, but walked out of the arena anyway. Lup dashed to the ball, hitting it at Magnus.

Magnus jumped straight up and Taako used the railing to jump higher, but it tapped against his foot anyway. 

“You were supposed to be my meat shield,” Taako complained to Magnus. “If I can’t trust you, then who  _ can  _ I trust?” He paused. “And the one who got me out was my  _ own SISTER!” _

“Whatever the case is with your personal betrayal, you’re out, Taako.” Aubrey said. “You can’t use the railing; that’s against the rules.”

Taako sighed irritably. “Ugh.” He walked out of the arena and began to chat with Barry. 

It was down to Aubrey, Lup, and Magnus. As usual. 

Magnus hit the ball at Lup, who was the biggest threat at the moment. She dodged, and the ball almost went out of the pit. Magnus glanced at Aubrey. “Temporary alliance?” he suggested. 

Aubrey pursed her lips, but nodded. “ _ Temporary,” _ she said clearly.

“Of course,” Magnus agreed. 

Aubrey stepped in front of one of the gaps in the wooden wall. 

Lup squinted, and hit the ball at Magnus again. Magnus let it hit the wall, and hit it back. 

It went on like this for a bit before Lup broke the cycle and hit it towards Aubrey. The stage magician dove to the side, and the ball went out. 

“ _ Fuck!” _ Lup cursed as she hopped the wall to stand next to her brother. 

“Lup-”

“Yeah, I know, it’s against the rules.”

Pigeon Wilson went and retrieved the ball. “A’right you two, hands against the wall!” she yelled. 

Magnus and Aubrey leaned against the wall, and Pigeon tossed the ball in. “Ga. Ga,” all the campers chanted. 

Aubrey reached the ball first. She hit it as hard as she could. Magnus sidestepped it, and then took a few more steps to avoid it rolling into the backs of his ankles. 

He hit it at her, and Aubrey jumped straight up. The ball rolled against the wall and as gravity kicked in and Aubrey came back down, she landed on the ball. 

“ _ GOD DAMMIT!”  _ She yelled. 

As everyone filed back into the pit, Julia gave Magnus a hug. “That was awesome!” Magnus felt his face getting warm. 

“Thanks, Jules,” he said. 

Julia smiled at him. “Are you blushing?” She teased, punching him in the arm. “Mags, we’ve been dating for like, eight months.”

Magnus’ cheeks puffed out like a blowfish. “So?” he asked, punching her right back. “Am I not allowed to think that you, my girlfriend, is beautiful?”

”You’re such a dork.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Heyo! It’s Tabby! I’m just letting you know that one of two things will be happening starting in December. Either the chapters will be getting shorter but more frequent, or chapters will be longer and more spread apart. If you have a preference, let me know in the comments.  
> Anyways, I hope you enjoyed this chapter! It’s NaNoWriMo now, so idk if another one will be up before December, but if not, then there will DEFINITELY be one in early December.


	6. Swimming Time, Nerd Extraordinaire

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Barry asks Taako for a favor. Taako is patient for once in his life.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Campers:
> 
> Magnus  
> Taako  
> Lup  
> Barry  
> Julia Waxmen  
> Lucas(MIA)  
> Aubrey  
> Dani  
> Hollis  
> Keith  
> Pigeon Wilson  
> Beacon
> 
> CITs:
> 
> Lucretia
> 
> Avi
> 
> Staff:
> 
> Merle  
> Davenport  
> Sloane  
> Mama  
> Barclay  
> Minerva  
> Ned Chicane
> 
> Misc People: 
> 
> Jake Coolice (no one knows whether he’s a staff member or a camper)  
> John Acras

Barry’s favorite part of the day was siesta, mostly because he could do whatever he wanted, so long as he was quiet about it. He especially liked siesta after a game of gaga. He shared a cabin with Taako, Magnus, and he  _ used  _ to share a cabin with Brian, but then Brian ran away to Camp Villa with his giant spider pet, so four became three. 

Magnus had gone looking for luckystones with Julia, Aubrey, and Dani, so it was just Barry and Taako. 

Taako was sitting on the top bunk, sorting through his box of shiny rocks and trinkets.  _ Nobody  _ was allowed to touch the rock box. Not Barry, not Magnus, no one except Lup. Hell, no one was allowed to come within a foot of it when it was open. 

Barry took a deep breath. “Hey, uh, Taako, can I ask you a favor?”

“Yeah, of course. What is it, Barremy?” 

Barry sighed. “That’s not what Barry stands for.”

“Whatever you say, Barrison,” Taako said, a smile spreading across his face. “Anyways, what were you gonna ask?”

Barry was rapidly coming to the conclusion that this was a bad idea. “Oh, uh, it’s actually nothing,” he said. 

“C’mon Baaron,” Taako said. 

Barry steeled himself. “Listen, uh, I- I know that we don’t know each other  _ too  _ well, even though, well, even though we’ve been living together in the same cabin for the past two weeks, and um, I’m kind of making myself vulnerable here, and-”

“What is it?” Taako asked. 

Barry let out a defeated sigh. “Can you teach me to swim?” He asked. He squeezed his eyes shut. Taako was never gonna let him live this down, he just knew it.

“Yeah, wait- fuck, you don’t know how to swim?” Taako asked. 

“No,” Barry admitted. “I-I watch you all swimming, and having fun, and I just-” He sighed. 

“Yeah, of course,” Taako said. 

Barry brightened. “Thank you so much bud, I-I don’t know what to say.”

“Don’t mention it,” Taako said. “No but seriously, don’t mention it. At all.”

Taako spent the next few days in the shallow end of the pool, teaching Barry to swim. It was rough at first, and Barry was regularly certain that any day now, Taako would declare him a lost cause and go back to diving to the bottom of the deep end. But he didn’t. To Barry’s surprise, Taako was very patient, and Barry got better.

On day three, Taako decided that he was ready to graduate from doggy paddling and start putting his head under the water. That was when they started having problems. 

“Taako, I can’t do this,” Barry protested as Taako waded deeper into the pool. 

“Barold, you asked me to teach you to swim,” Taako said firmly. “Now c’mon, my dude. We’ve got lifeguards all around us, don’t worry.”

“That’s not the problem,” Barry said. “I think I get the motions now, but I can’t put my head underwater.” The water was up to his shoulders. “Whenever I do, my ears get waterlogged and they start hurting.”

Taako considered this for a moment. “That’s an extremely solvable problem, Barold. You should have told me that from the get-go. Hang on.” The elf swam over to the side of the pool and climbed out. He walked over to the staff table, and started talking to one of the lifeguards.

Barry couldn’t hear what Taako was saying, but the lifeguard was nodding. After a minute, he walked over to the supply closet and handed Taako something.

Taako came back, and handed Barry a pair of small earplugs. “Put them in,” he said. “Apparently, they’re specially made so that you can still hear, but the insides of your ears should stay dry.”

Barry smiled gratefully at Taako. “Thanks bud.”

The earplugs worked like a charm, and on the fifth day, Barry took the swim test. While he took the test, Taako was having a splash battle with the other campers. After the test, Barry walked back to the shallow section, his shoulders slumped. Noticing that he was done, Taako swam over to Barry. 

“How’d it go?” Taako asked excitedly. 

Barry sighed disappointedly, looking at the ground. “Well,” he began.

Taako’s face fell. “Oh.”

Barry looked up with a grin and pushed the elf backwards, “I passed!”

Taako splashed him. “That was shitty of you!” the elf said with a laugh. He pulled Barry forward. “C’mon Barard!” he said. “Let’s go swimming!”

A few hours later, Taako and Barry were sitting in their cabin, chatting. Taako was sitting on the top bunk with his box, and Barry was sitting on the floor.

Barry smiled. “Taako, I wanna thank you again for, you know, teaching me how to swim. There were times where I, like, couldn’t hang out with you guys because you guys would all go swimming, and I couldn’t, and that’s not a good look, and it made me kind of look like a big nerd-”

Taako laughed. “You  _ are  _ a nerd, Barold. Anyways, who are you worried about looking silly in front of?” 

Barry felt his face heat up. “No, it’s-it’s nothing, don’t worry about it.”

The elf looked unconvinced. “Hm.” Taako rummaged around in his box for a minute. Barry sat down and pulled out his book. He heard Taako go “Aha!” and a moment later, Barry felt something small and hard hit against his head. 

“Ow!” Barry cried out, rubbing his head where the two projectiles had hit him. “What the  _ fuck,  _ Taako?” 

The elf climbed down the ladder and inspected the objects that were laying on the floor. Barry saw that it was a pair of sparkly, six sided dice. “It’s an eleven, Barold,” he said. “Barold, that’s the second best number you can get.”

“Taako!” Barry protested.

“Barrry! I rolled an eleven Barold, you have to tell me.”

“I just think, you know, it’s like all of you… I don’t wanna be— I don’t wanna embarrass myself in front of, like… For example, just like… For example, like… Like… Lup. I look… I look—” Barry stammered.

Taako smiled. “Listen Barisson. I see where you’re going with this. And- and I don’t begrudge you anything. It’s not all that surprising to me, but let me tell you this.” The elf put a hand on his human friend’s shoulder. “You’ve got  _ all  _ summer. One summer might not seem like a ton of time, but like, we’re all gonna be in  _ super  _ close proximity that entire time. We’re almost three weeks in, and you know how to swim. Things can change, Barold. They  _ have  _ changed. In three weeks, a camper ran away, we got a new camper, and you learned to swim. You’ve got  _ so much  _ time.” He punched Barry’s shoulder lightly. “I’m rooting for you, Barry.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey guys! I hope you like this chapter! I didn’t get it out before the end of november, but I got a lot done this NaNoWriMo. If you want to chat, leave a comment, or message me on tumblr @shadow-and-purgatory


End file.
